Unwelcome. 2023. Written by Mark Stay, directed by John Wright, staring Hannah John-Kamen and Douglas Booth. Colm Meany and Kristian Nairn were also notable characters in the movie.
Well, what can I say? My Odeon Luxe limitless pass is getting its use. This is the 05th film I have seen already in 2023 and it is by far THE WORST THING I HAVE SEEN IN 2023 TOO!
The story is an Irish-folk horror built around two young characters, a couple who are newly pregnant, inheriting a house in the countryside. Yes, that old trope. They are more than keen to move there after a home break in at their previous home in the city. When they are at their new home, the couple discover the locals are a little odd but not as odd as the little goblins that live in their garden. This is pretty much the entire plot! Apart from them having to hire some local tradesmen who become the throne in their sides. I really thought that this horror was lacking in all areas.
The story built so slowly and it was very difficult to relate to the main characters played by Hannah and Douglas. In fact, I was hoping the goblins would hurry and get them so it could finish already. There was no tension at any point throughout the movie and any “horror” elements were in poor taste and offputting. There was no entertainment in any of the scenes involving the strange goblins that looked like they pulled them straight out of the 1986 Jim Henson movie Labrinth.
There were numerous, pointless shots of the couple's car winding through the country roads of Ireland, highlighting to us that the characters were heading to the town. We know! We get it; they live away from civilisation so that some of the story can make sense… kind of. I can honestly say that there was not a single character in this movie that I enjoyed, or stood out.
The ending was completely useless when it comes to story and it makes people like me, budding screenwriters, feel that it is entirely possible to get our screenplays turned into a feature film based on this abomination.
All of my thoughts and feelings were consolidated at the end of the movie. I could hear the cries of relief, and the laughter. Including my outburst of “Thank f**k for that.”
I will give this movie a 1 out of 5. That 1 is coming from the music as I didn’t find that all too bad. Trust me, save yourself 101 minutes. Don’t watch this terrible movie.
